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10

SEP

Recent news​

SEND IN YOUR RAVENS
It's a little early to be talking about football, but it's never too eary to talk Fantasy! Winter is Coming and I need to start preparing for this years A League of Ice & Fire. Everyone who plans to participate please let me know through Westeros Postal Service, or really any way that's easiest for you. This way I can guarantee your place in the league. it's just April but I'd recomend those planing to play to:start thinking of creative team namesany questions you may have regarding the leaguesuggestions so that when the time comes there wont be any problems when things start to pick upAnd remember when you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die.

VALOR MORGHULIS

"If you would take a man's life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die..."

 

First let me congratulate all the Ladies of Westeros for almost sweeping Week 1 ..cough..cough..Crows b4 Hoes..

But the Week 1 STARKBUCKS COFFEE BLOWOUT goes to none other than House Stark for his 225-163 L. Bell beat down of Impin Ain't Easy. Showing everyone that he will not let draft grades define his season. For now...

On to week 2 everyone! So go out there and pick up some new players to maybe adjust your lineups and avoid going 0-2. Won't name any names but let's just say nobody wants to see Prater in anyone's lineup again this week! Umkay here are the matchups!

This Weeks Nail Biters:

  • Team House Stark= 206

  • Team Joffrey= 204.5



This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

  • Team SQONLN= 187

  • Rabbit Town Conejas= 196.5

  •  

  • Crows Before Hoes= 156.5

  • The Southland(still w/ Prater)= 166.5

 

  • Casterly Rock God of TW= 215

  • Impin Ain't Easy= 188.5


This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:

 

  • The Unsullied= 230.5

  • Hoder's Hoder   = 150


Don't forget this week Thursday Night game is Pittsburgh vs Baltimore so be prepared for any players you have or want to pick up who are playing.

06

APR

AND SO IT BEGINS

 

"The morning had dawned clear and cold, with a crispness that hinted at the end of summer..."

 

Ok everyone Week 1 is here! Meaning it's time to get your lineups set. Remember you have until your players game begins to make any moves to that player. So remember if a player on your bench game starts you can no longer put him in your lineup. Here are your early Matchup Projections, and some of you (OGGiii) might want to make some roster moves...maybe.

 

This Weeks Nail Biters:

  • Hoder's Hoder =179

  • Team SQONLN =172

 

  • Team House Stark =165

  • Impin Ain't Easy =174.5

 

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

  • Rabbit Town Conejas =151

  • Casterly Rock God of T&W =179

 

 

  • Team Joffrey =199.5

  • Crows B4 Hoes =171

 

This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Matchup! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:

  • The Southland =138.5

  • Team The Unsullied =168

 

Good luck and remember there's a Thursday night game Packers vs Seahawks. Make your moves early if you have any players playing on those teams.

 

01

SEP

DRAFT OR DIE

The Draft is here! On August 31, 2014 at 5:00pm the real battle for the League begins. For some of you this may be your first dance with the Draft Gods, so beware the Draft is dark and full of terrors! While you may not win your league, you sure can lose it with a bad draft day. Some tips:

  • MOCK DRAFT! The best way to practice your drafting skills. Also is a great way to experiment drafting with different devices (ie phone, tablet, computer) so that you can best decide which way is best for you. Just go to the ESPN mock draft page and join any draft about to start and give it a go! http://games.espn.go.com/ffl/mockdraftlobby

  • STRATEGY! decide what is important to you and keep it in the back of your mind once the draft begins. Not just players you'd like to get, but also what positions you feel are important. That could mean getting the best running backs available or going reciever earlier than others. There are many magazines abd the ESPN fantasy page that provide you with many options of strategies you can use. The draft will go much smoother for you if you have some ideas already in mind when going in.

  • Dont take kickers or defenses too soon! Think this tip is pretty self explanatory.

  • Don't draft any Raiders!

  • This is a SNAKE DRAFT. this means that draft will go from position 1-10 and then back again from 10-1. So if you hold the 10th draft spot you will draft back to back. Position 1 will also draft back to back on the turnaround. You know, like a snake.

  • CHEAT SHEETS. Study them if you want. Recommended. ADP stands for Average Draft Position so you can see when players are usually drafted so you can plan accordingly and not have to reach for a player you can get 1 or 2 rounds later. http://games.espn.go.com/ffl/livedraftresults

  • Don't forget: DON'T draft any Raiders! Trust me you'll feel better about yourself Monday morning.

  • PLEASE DO NOT FORGET to set up your pre-draft prefences on the ESPN fantasy site. This is because if for some reason you cannot draft the computer will automatically draft for you. The computer will use whatever settings you have set up so hopefully you are able to get the players you desired. PLEASE DO NOT FORGET

 

If you have any more questions regarding the draft please feel free to ask, and I will get back to you as soon as I can. the Draft site will be open an hour prior to the draft, this includes the draft order. So you will be able to see your draft slot at 4:00pm the day of the draft. Good luck and remember

 

"Some games are won with swords and spears, others with Drafts and ravens" -Tywin Lannister

21

AUG

BEFORE UNSULLIED...NOTHING

 

"Perhaps you should be more careful. Monsters are dangerous beasts and kings seem to be dropping like flies."

 


What an "interesting" week everyone? With all the injuries, suspensions, and deactivations I'm surprised there were any players left to play. Then again, taking a look at all the final scores...maybe there weren't. Just ask Hodor's Hodor (couldn't be reached for comment, but can only guess it would have been "Hodor") who had 5 players out with injury! To be fair 3 of those could have been benched, but you won't see The Unsullied complaining. One teams misery is another teams STARKBUCKS COFFEE BLOWOUT! Congratulations Unsullied! But beware, lurking in Week 3 is undefeated Conejas, which should be a true nail biter. So I'll get right to it, here are your Week 3 lines.

This Weeks Nail Biters:
Rabbit Town Conejas= 191
Team The Unsullied= 186.5

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:
Team SQONLN= 181
Casterly Rock God of TW= 193.5

Team Joffrey= 212.5
Impin Ain't Easy= 198

The Southland= 165.3
Team House Stark= 202.5

This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:
Hoder's Hoder   = 119.5
Crows b4 Hoes= 164

This weeks Thursday night game is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs the Atlanta Falcons so make sure your lineups are ready to go. (Hodor? Hodor Hodor!)

17

SEP

BYE WEEKS ARE DARK & FULL OF TERROR

 

"In his chain mail shirt with sword in hand, Gendry looked almost a man grown, and dangerous. Hot Pie looked like Hot Pie..."

 


He does it again everybody. That's 2! BLOWOUTS in 3 weeks and looks to be on his way for a third. I'm talking about House Stark's 171-118 beheading of OGGiii of the Southland. Considering the "F" grade ESPN gave his draft I thought of giving him a round of applause...but I won't.

 

Speaking of applause, I'd also like to give myself a hand for getting off the bench cause I believe a 2game head start is enough and now it's time for me to start my winning ways. In case you missed it I posted a video that pretty clearly shows how I plan on dealing with future matchups, http://youtu.be/NNelGhS866w and I'm Morris Day and The Unsullied about to join her mama in the dumpster.

 

Bye Bye Bye is the song for Week 4 everybody so check your lineups! There are 6 teams on byes this week and is leading to a projection of 4 BLOWOUTS. Get out there and use the waiver to fill your rosters. It's time to send those nonproductive players to dumpsville and pick up some, if not great, players with maybe favorable matchups that you can streamline for this week. I don't want to see any empty roster spots people! 

And here are your Week 4 lines.


 

This Weeks Nail Biters:

Crows Before Hoes= 165.8

Rabbit Town Conejas= 153.2

 

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

NONE! because...


This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:
Casterly Rock God of T&W= 224.7

Team The Unsullied= 158.5

 

Team House Stark= 225.8

Hoder's Hoder= 151.5

 

 

Team Joffrey= 199.2

The Southland=104.5

 

 

Team sqonln= 90.5

Impin Ain't Easy= 187.5



This weeks Thursday night game is the New York Giants vs the Washington Professional Football Franchise so make sure your lineups are ready to go.

24

SEP

NO MIDDLE GROUND

...“Oh, but it was, my lord,” Cersei insisted. “When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground.” She turned up her hood to hide her swollen face and left him there in the dark beneath the oak, amidst the quiet of the godswood, under a blue- black sky. The stars were coming out...

 

What part of no middle ground, House Stark and Hodor's Hodor, do you not understand! I suppose if a tie is like kissing your sister, then I guess you two will fit right in Westeros. 

 

Playing against any other team Rabbit Town would have been 4-0 and remained undefeated. Any team that is except Crows b4 Hoes. Not only does Cb4H's 227-181 win end Conejas perfect streak, but she does it in a matter than can only be described as our STARKBUCKS COFFEE BLOWOUT of the week! Congratulations are in order, so enjoy it while you can since next week...

 

Stay tuned for a surprise later this week. Trust me you will not want to miss what I have in store for the league. Until then here are your week 5 lines.


 

This Weeks Nail Biters:

Crows Before Hoes= 172.5

Casterly Rock God of TW= 193.5

 

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

Rabbit Town Conejas= 193.1

Team House Stark= 218.5

 

 

Team The Unsullied= 156.5

Team sqonln= 189.8

 

 

The Southland= 136

Impin Ain't Easy= 178.5

 


This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:

Hoder's Hoder= 161.9

Team Joffrey= 208.5

 

This weeks Thursday night game is the Minnesota (don't tell me how to raise my kid) Vikings vs the Olivia Munn lead Green Bay Packers. Make sure your lineups are set and ready to go.

 

01

OCT

TRIAL BY COMBAT

"...Even Prince Oberyn’s paramour paled at the sight of him. “You are going to fight that?” Ellaria Sand said in a hushed voice. “I am going to kill that,” her lover replied carelessly...”

 

We've reached the beginning of the end of the first half of the season folks, and it's time to start getting ready for the homestretch. The Ice Division is still anybody's game with nobody more than 2 games back from first. While Division Fire is starting to see some separation from the top 3. With 8 games left this season, it is far from over so nobody's out yet! (Just time to start making some moves)

 

We had some very close games last week and also a few blowouts. One came from a more obvious team, Conejas, who is leading Ice, but the STARKBUCKS COFFEE BLOWOUT didn't go to Conejas. No this weeks surprise STARKBUCKS COFFEE BLOWOUT goes to Gonzales III of the Southland! I know right? Well...congratulations or whatever...on to next week!

 

This week features two heavyweights of their respective divisions. Rabbit Town Conejas (4-1) vs Team Joffrey (5-0) It's like the Mountain vs the Viper, but who is the Mountain and who is the Viper? Here are your Week 6 lines!


 

This Weeks Nail Biters:

Team Joffrey=199.7

Rabbit Town Conejas= 201

 

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

Team SQONLN= 182.1

Crows Before Hoes= 189.2

 

Casterly Rock God of TW= 212.8

Team House Stark= 198.5

 

The Unsullied= 172.4

Impin Ain't Easy= 203.5

 


This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:

The Southland= 190.1

Hoder's Hoder= 140.4

 

This weeks Thursday night game is the Indianapolis Lucks, I mean Colts vs the Houston Texans. Get those lineups set and good luck..

 

08

OCT

A FEAST FOR CROWS

“...My queen,” the big man said slowly, “all you say is true. But Rhaegar lost on the Trident. He lost the battle, he lost the war, he lost the kingdom, and he lost his life. His blood swirled downriver with the rubies from his breastplate, and Robert the Usurper rode over his corpse to steal the Iron Throne. Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly, Rhaegar fought honorably. And Rhaegar died...”

 

Sorry everybody for this weeks lines coming out a day late. Been a busy week, but have no fear the lines are here! 

 

Speaking of a team to be feared, once again the Chicago Bears offense, I mean Crows b4 Hoes has pulled off this weeks Starkbucks BLOWOUT! Joining House Stark as the only teams to have TWO Starkbucks BLOWOUTS! After a slow start Cb4H has become a serious force to be reckoned with, and will be going for not only back to back BLOWOUTS but also ruining the bDay of The Southland. Cb4H why you gotta be so rude?

 

Unfortunately Cb4H plays in the same division as undefeated, that's 6-0 for you non streetwise, Team Joffrey. Equal parts skill and blind luck lead Team Joffrey to victory over Division Ice's leader Rabbit Town last week. Rabbit Town had the lead early but decided to showboat instead of finishing a wounded Joffrey and had her head crushed for it. Now before you start gloating with your pigeon pie, there are still many games left to play, and for Team Joffrey, hopefully many games to lose. C'mon people somebody end this reign of terror! PURPLE WEDDING!!!

 

Here are your week 7 lines:

 

 

This Weeks Nail Biters:

Team Joffrey= 215.8

Casterly Rock God of TW= 204

 

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

Hoder's Hoder= 162

Impin Ain't Easy= 175.7

 

Crows Before Hoes= 179.4

Team The Unsullied= 152

 

Rabbit Town Conejas= 203.3

The Southland= 167.5

 


This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:

Team House Stark= 209.1

Team sqonln= 150.8

 

This weeks (tonight's) Thursday night game is the New Jersey Jets being video recorded by the New England Patriots. Good Luck

 

16

OCT

The Purple Wedding

"...The High Septon began to pray loudly. Grand Maester Pycelle shouted for someone to help him back to his chambers, to fetch his potions. Joffrey began to claw at his throat, his nails tearing bloody gouges in the flesh. Beneath the skin, the muscles stood out hard as stone. Prince Tommen was screaming and crying.

He is going to die, Tyrion realized..."

 

It's finally happened everyone. The undefeated reign of Team Joffrey is finally over! After having to watch members of this league lose week after week and allow Team Joffrey to remain undefeated, I finally had enough. If you want something done I guess you have to do it yourself. So your welcome. But while Team Joffrey may be choking reaching for his momma, he is NOT dead yet! Still first place in Division Fire, but no longer multiple games ahead with Cb4H and House Stark right behind.

 

Despite how great Team Joffrey losing may be, it was not this weeks BLOWOUT. Last weeks matchups were actually all pretty close with Cb4H win over Unsullied by just 5pts! All were close matchups that is except Impin Ain't Easy's 166-126 win over Hodor's Hodor. So congratulations to Impin Ain't Easy on his first Starkbucks BLOWOUT! It took 8 weeks to do, but like your name says, it ain't easy.

 

There are some interesting matchups this week. We've got future (that's right you're not married yet so accept no mercy) husband vs wife, big (little) brother vs little (big) brother, and a must win for Hodor's Hodor. So I'd suggest everyone to hold on to your butts.

 

With that said here are your week 8 lines:

 

 

This Weeks Nail Biters:

Casterly Rock God of TW= 203.4

The Southland= 201.1

 

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

Hoder's Hoder= 177.7

Rabbit Town Conejas= 199.4

 

Crows Before Hoes= 183.5

Impin Ain't Easy= 209.8

 

This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:

 

Team The Unsullied= 148.1

Team House Stark= 216.4

 

Team SQONLN= 119.5

Team Joffrey= 200

 

 

This weeks Thursday night game is the San Diego Chargers vs America's Team the Denver Broncos. Also don't forget that the Detroit Lions vs Atlanta Falcons game kicks off at 6:30am Sunday morning so have your lineups in EARLY. Good Luck

 

 

22

OCT

KINGSLAYING & KINSLAYING

“...and lastly on three great wedding pies, as wide across as wagon wheels, their flaky crusts stuffed to bursting with carrots, onions, turnips, parsnips, mushrooms, and chunks of seasoned pork swimming in a savory brown gravy. Ramsay hacked off slices with his falchion and Wyman Manderly himself served, presenting the first steaming portions to Roose Bolton and his fat Frey wife, the next to Ser Hosteen and Ser Aenys, the sons of Walder Frey. “The best pie you have ever tasted, my lords,” the fat lord declared. “Wash it down with Arbor gold and savor every bite. I know I shall...”

 

WOW! What a week everybody! Now there's a stat out there somewhere about how historical this past weeks fantasy numbers were, but I don't know where I put those numbers so you'll just have to trust me. Half the league, that's right HALF, put up over 200 points and got the win...wait wait wait not so fast Gonzales III of The Southland bwahahahahahaha... Where was I? Oh yeah half the league went over 200 points and all but one team got the win!

 

Some notable mentions include: my kinslaying of The Southland even though he put up his best game of the season. Cb4H's praying mantis style decapitation of Impin Ain't Easy. Team Joffrey's "Romo-esque" defeat to SQONLN. And despite leaving her highest point getter on the bench, The Unsullied pulled off this weeks Starkbucks BLOWOUT! I guess leaving Roethlisberger's 66pts on your bench is cushioned by Tom Brady putting up 51 of Unsullied's 251 - 136 win over House Stark. Putting The Unsullied in the now club of three teams with two Starkbucks BLOWOUTS!

 

This week includes six teams on bye weeks, a mother versus her son, and a father versus his daughter. So...here are your week 9 lines:

 

This Weeks Nail Biters:

Rabbit Town Conejas= 143.6 +32

Impin Ain't Easy= 175.6 -32

 

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

Team Joffrey= 200.4 -32.9

Team The Unsullied= 167.6 +32.9

 

The Southland= 111.1 +37.9

Team SQONLN= 149.1 -37.9

 

Hoder's Hoder= 140.1 +68.8

Casterly Rock God of TW= 208.9 -68.8

 

This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:

Team House Stark= 213.6 -112.6

Crows Before Hoes= 101 +112.6

 

This weeks Thursday night game is the New Orleans Bounty Saints vs The Carolina Panthers. 

 

 

 

29

OCT

HEAR ME ROAR

"Cold," said Renly in a small puzzled voice, a heartbeat before the steel of his gorget parted like cheesecloth beneath the shadow of a blade that was not there. He had time to make a small thick gasp before the blood came gushing out of his throat. "Your Gr— no!" cried Brienne"

 

Every parent hopes that one day their children will take all they have taught them throughout their life, and hopefully use that knowledge to one day surpass them.

 

That day was not this past Sunday.

 

Both SQONLN and Team Joffrey took their shoes to Gonzales III of the Southland and The Unsullied like they were acting up in the backseat. Especially SQONLN who provided this weeks Starkbucks BLOWOUT! by going all Adrian Peterson on the Southland by the score of 233-138. http://youtu.be/nfHPNPiEReU

 

This weeks notable matchups include: husband vs wife revenge match, Team Joffrey vs Cb4H in the battle for 1st place of Division Fire, and big brother vs little sister in the battle for last place of Division Ice.

 

It has been brought to my attention that there is a video containing the alleged child abuse of The Southland by SQONLN. I give you my word that I had no prior knowledge such a tape existed let alone that there was an easily accessible way to get ahold of it. Really. No clue. Regardless, I have no intention of stepping down as your commissioner as I have learned from my past mistakes, though I do not admit to have made any such mistakes. I will be commissioning an investigation on whether a suspension to SQONLN is necessary for the charge of child abuse. And to avoid any conflicts of interest I have retained an independent, third-party investigator, Law Offices of L.L.L. & Associates, to find out what happened. So stay tuned.

 

Here are your week 10 lines:

 

This Weeks Nail Biters:

Impin Ain't Easy= 174.1 -2.7

Team House Stark= 171.5 +2.7

 

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

Crows Before Hoes= 186.1 -7.9

Team Joffrey= 178.3 +7.9

 

Team SQONLN= 152.5 -13

Hoder's Hoder= 139.5 +13

 

Casterly Rock God of TW= 191.3 -13.6

Rabbit Town Conejas= 177.7 +13.6

 

This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:

Team The Unsullied= 100 +63.3

The Southland= 163.3 -63.3

 

Team House Stark= 213.6 -112.6

Crows Before Hoes= 101 +112.6

 

This weeks Thursday night game is the Cleveland Sell Outs Who Even Though Lebron Dumped Your Asses You Still Take Him Back Pathetic Browns vs the Cincinnati Bengals. Good Luck 

 

 

 

 

 

05

NOV

WIDOW'S WAIL

"...a prophecy is like a treacherous woman. She takes your member in her mouth, and you moan with the pleasure of it and think, how sweet, how fine, how good this is...and then her teeth snap shut and your moans turn to screams. That is the nature of prophecy, said Gorghan. Prophecy will bite your prick off every time..."

 

Alas we flew too close to the sun. With the prospect of two new division leaders, both myself and Cb4H came up wanting. My own loss coming on plain bad luck, but unfortunately I cannot say the same for Cb4H. Team Joffrey laid a Starkbucks Blowout! 211-126 beat down on Cb4H. Showing that if you come at the king you best not miss. 

 

This might have been the most closely contested week we've had this season. With almost every matchup coming down to the wire and easily being a different outcome with a few different bounces here or there. 

 

Tons of playoff implications this weekend. Remember the top 3 from each division get in with the division leaders getting a first round bye. 

 

Some key matchups to keep an eye on: OGIII needing a win to get back in the playoff hunt at the expense of Cb4H who worst case scenario could fall from possible division leader to outside the top 3 looking in, bottom vs bottom, and a Monster In-Law matchup for Division Ice.

 

Here are your week 11 lines:

 

This Weeks Nail Biters:

Team Joffrey211.5 -3.5

Team House Stark208 +3.5

 

 

Impin Ain't Easy= 178 +9.5

Casterly Rock God of TW= 188.4 -9.5

 

 

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

The Southland= 152 +16.6

Crows Before Hoes= 168.6 -16.6

 

This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:

Rabbit Town Conejas= 157.9 -24.2

Team sqonln= 133.8 +24.2

 

Hoder's Hoder= 135.2 +27.5

Team The Unsullied= 162.7 -27.5

 

This weeks Thursday night game is the Buffalo Bills vs the Miami Sound Machine Dolphins. Don't forget the Trade Deadline is Wednesday, November 19, at 8am. If you have any trade ideas better act soon. Good Luck

 

 

 

 

12

NOV

YOU KNOW NOTHING

"...Slow red worms crawled along her arms and under her clothes. It tickles. That made her laugh until she screamed. “Mad,” someone said, “she’s lost her wits,” and someone else said, “Make an end,” and a hand grabbed her scalp just as she’d done with Jinglebell, and she thought, No, don’t, don’t cut my hair, Ned loves my hair. Then the steel was at her throat, and its bite was red and cold..."

 

 

Sorry for the late posting folks, but better late than never!

 

(Slow Clap) Congratulations are in order to Hodor's Hodor for his first victory of the season! First of many as hopefully Hodor can now become a spoiler for some of you playoff hopefuls. Besides Rabbit Town and Team Joffrey, who have already purchased their playoff tickets, almost every team (even Unsullied) has a chance to either make or fall out of the playoffs. Right now Division Ice and Fire both have two spots available with three teams to fill them. So these last two weeks are definitly must win. 

 

This was by far the closest week we've had. With wins by 4,6,11,and 18pt margins with this weeks Starkbucks BLOWOUT! going to Impin Ain't Easy with a 208-180 win. It's the smallest blowout this season, but it's not the size of the blowout but the time of the season that matters right. Afterall a win is a win is a win, and this week a 26pt win does it. So congrats Impin on joining the 2x BLOWOUT! Club!

 

There are some important matches this week with some MUST win games. Hodor's Hodor looks to keep up his upset ways agains Cb4H, mother looking to knock her son out of playoffs, Rabbit Town looking to finish Unsullied, Joffrey defending his crown AGAINS vs another must win Impin, and OGiii vs Team Stark in a possible loser leaves town match. Geez that's a lot!

 

 

Here are your week 12 lines:

 

 

This Weeks Nail Biters:

Impin Ain't Easy= 199 +16.5

Team Joffrey= 215.4 -16.5

 

 

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

Team The Unsullied= 188.4 +20.4

Rabbit Town Conejas= 208.9 -20.4

 

 

Team House Stark= 174 +33.9

The Southland= 207.9 -33.9

 

This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:

Crows Before Hoes= 198.9 -68.3

Hoder's Hoder= 130.6 +68.3

 

Casterly Rock God of TW= 222 -83.6

Team sqonln= 138.4 +83.6

 

 

 

Tonight's game is the Oakland so bad it's not even funny to make fun of them Raiders vs the Kansas City Not Chefs Chiefs. Good Luck

20

NOV

WAR OF THE FIVE KINGS

"...whilst the serving men ladeled out bowls of blandissory, a mixture of beef broth and boiled wine sweetened with honey and dotted with blanched almonds and chunks of capon. Then came some strolling pipers and clever dogs and sword swallowers, with buttered pease, chopped nuts, and slivers of swan poached in a sauce of saffron and peaches. “Not swan again,” Tyrion muttered...."

 

Well the playoff picture just got a little clearer. With God of T&W winning and OGiii losing (by a measly 3pts) thus bringing an end to the Unsullied and Southland's playoff hopes. Just 3pts! That's how close it is from playoff glory and the consolation bracket folks. Meaning with one week to go God of T&W, sqonln and House Stark all punched their playoff tickets!

 

I won't lie I was a little worried about being on the outside looking in when it came to the playoffs, but I never thought it would come to this. The total destruction of my poor mother in this week 210-141 Starkbucks BLOWOUT! Sorry mom but somebody had to be the victim of my inevitable blowout, and if you can't destroy the ones you love then who can you destroy?

 

So with Division Ice having all but seeding decided, that leaves us with Division Fire. Now I usually don't discuss who came in second in the Starkbucks BLOWOUT but this beat down turned out to be very important. Hodor's Hodor gets the back to back wins at the expense of Cb4H's playoff hopes. Both Cb4H and Impin Ain't Easy sit at 6-6 meaning neither can afford a lose in Week 13. But to make the playoffs they will have to beat a team already in the playoffs with Rabbit Town and sqonln standing in their way.

 

While not as much at stake some other notable matchups this week include: big brother vs little sister, Hodor going for three wins in a row to avoid being in last place, and in a match to see for once and for all who is the best Orlando Geronimo Gonzales! Jr vs III!

 

 

Here are your week 13 lines:

 

This Weeks Nail Biters:

Impin Ain't Easy= 165.4 +7.2

Team sqonln= 172.6 -7.2

 

This Weeks Any Given Sunday:

Team The Unsullied= 202.1 -10.2

Casterly Rock God of TW= 191.9 +10.2

 

The Southland= 203.8 +13.1

Team Joffrey= 216.9 -13.1

 

Hoder's Hoder= 188.3 +14.4

Team House Stark= 202.6 -14.4

 

 

This Weeks Possible BLOWOUT Winner! Sponsored by Starkbucks Coffee:

Rabbit Town Conejas= 190 -25.1

Crows Before Hoes= 164.9 +25.1

 

Got a smorgasbord of Thursday night action this week so make sure your lineups are set and ready to go early! For our appetizer we have the Chicago Bears vs the Detroit Lions. Followed by the Philadelphia Eagles vs the Dallas Cowboys. And for dessert we finish with the Seattle Seahawks vs the San Francisco 49ers. Good Luck and Happy Turkey Day!

 

25

NOV

AND NOW MY WATCH BEGINS

"Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death... I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come."-

Vows of the Night Watch

 

 

What a week everybody! This week contained the most 25+ point players since 1960 causing 7 teams to go over 190pts, and only league leading Team Joffrey left underperforming. 

 

The real action though was with Impin's (Gonna Be Sleeping on the Couch) Ain't Easy vs Team SQONLN   and Rabbit Town vs Crows Before Hoes! The race to the playoffs literally came down to the last half of the last game! With Rabbit Town exacting revenge on her lose to Cb4H earlier in the season, all Impin had to do was win and he's in. With two players left and only a few points behind it all seemed too easy, but man the Miami Dolphins made him sweat it out going into half time still trailing. In the end though not only did Impin Ain't Easy pull out the win, not only did he do it with this weeks 215-189 Starkbucks BLOWOUT! for the league leading third time, not only did he punch his playoff ticket, but most importantly he did it by knocking out Crows b4 Hoes in the process! Sorry but that's just COLD!

 

That's right everyone the playoffs are set! Representing Division Ice is Rabbit Town Conejas, God of T&W, and Team SQONLN. Representing Division Fire is Team Joffrey, Team Stark, and Impin Ain't Easy. Congratulations! But now begins the hard part.

 

With Rabbit Town and Joffrey securing their byes, here are your Week 14 Playoff Lines:

 

Team House Stark= 222.3 -11.6

Impin Ain't Easy= 210.7 +11.6

 

 

Casterly Rock God of TW= 214.8 -38.4

Team SQONLN= 176.4 +38.4

 

I haven't forgotten about you non-playoff teams though. I will have a little gift waiting for the winner of the Consolidation bracket, so don't stop playing yet! I'm talking to you Team Unsullied, Gonzales iii of the Southland, Hodor's Hodor, and Crows b4 Hoes! Don't stop playing! It may be the losers bracket, but you have the chance to be the number 1 loser! No loser will finish ahead of you! When it comes to losers you will be the 1st loser! 

 

 

The Southland= 209.9 -12.7

Team The Unsullied= 197.3 +12.7

 

Crows Before Hoes= 198.9 -13.3

Hoder's Hoder=185.6 +13.3

 

This weeks Thursday night game is the Dallas 8 Win Cowboys vs the Chicago Bears. Good Luck Everyone! Except you know who...

 

03

DEC

THE CHILDREN AND THE DEAD

"...blood still marked him as he looked down at the queen. “I have never liked you, Cersei, but you were my own sister, so I never did you harm. You’ve ended that. I will hurt you for this. I don’t know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you’ll know the debt is paid."

 

First week of the playoffs is in the books, and what a week it was. Let's take a look:

In Division Fire we had what can only be called a Shoot-Out. House Stark vs Impin Ain't Easy had a combined seven players go over 30 points this week. Two of those players going over 40 points, and one player go over 60 points. Unfortunately for Impin Ain't Easy those last three players all played for House Stark. With a 250-238 win House Stark gets the first shot at quieting regular season leader Team Joffrey. Team Joffrey and House Stark split their previous two meetings and should make Division Fire's Conference Finals a very high octane matchup.

 

 

Team House Stark= 211 -27.9

Team Joffrey= 183.1 +27.9

 

If Division Fire's matchup was a Shoot-Out then Division Ice's matchup can only be described as Ground-and-Pound. God of T&W and Team SQONLN had only one player go over 30 points, and that wasn't a player but a defense! The St. Louis Rams lead God of T&W to this weeks dismal 162-87 Starkbucks BLOWOUT! It might not have been pretty but God of T&W got the job done, and now has a chance in Division Ice's Conference Finals to avenge both regular season losses. Rabbit Town Conejas will be looking for the three game sweep and moving on to the Iron Throne.

 

 

Casterly Rock God of TW= 206.3 -37.8

Rabbit Town Conejas= 168.5 +37.8

 

In the quest for the best of the rest, the Consolation Champion will come down to The Unsullied vs Crows b4 Hoes. 

After splitting their regular season games, Unsullied took it to her big brother 196-188. Showing that he may be be older and wiser, but not so much wiser since he keeps starting J. Thomas.

Crows b4 Hoes held on for dear life as J. Jones lead a Hodor's Hodor comeback. But in the end Hodor came up short only losing by two points 203-201. Giving Cb4H a little bit of payback for the late (possible playoff ending) loss to Hodor's Hodor and the series lead.

 

 

Team The Unsullied= 183.8 +23.5

Crows Before Hoes= 207.3 -23.5

 

Playing for PRIDE! oh and also 5th and 6th place is Team SQONLN vs Impin Ain't Easy. And playing to not be LAST PLACE! is The Southland vs Hodor's Hodor. Nobody wants to end their season on a loss, so go out and get that W!

 

ITeam SQONLN= 156.4 +41

Impin Ain't Easy= 197.4 -41

 

 

Hoder's Hoder= 194.7 +19.2

The Southland= 213.9 -19.2

 

 

 

This weeks Thursday night game is the Arizona Cardinals vs the St. Louis Rams. TWO WEEKS TO GO! Good Luck Everyone! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

DEC

THE BATTLE OF ICE & FIRE

"...she came upon a feast of corpses. Savagely slaughtered, the feasters lay strewn across overturned chairs and hacked trestle tables, asprawl in pools of congealing blood. Some had lost limbs, even heads. Severed hands clutched bloody cups, wooden spoons, roast fowl, heels of bread. In a throne above them sat a dead man with the head of a wolf. He wore an iron crown and held a leg of lamb in one hand as a king might hold a scepter, and his eyes followed Dany with mute appeal..."

 

Okay everyone, the moment you've all been waiting for...and the winner is...The Unsullied! Our Consolation Playoff Champion! I've been telling her since she was a little girl, and now she has proven that once and for all when it comes to losers The Unsullied is #1! And Crows b4 Hoes unfortunately that makes you number two.

 

In our Worst of the Worst match, The Southland proves that he is not the worst team in A League of Ice & Fire. No he's the second worst team and don't you forget it! Hodor's Hodor came on strong at the end of the season, but pretty much finished as his season went, in last. Sometimes things just fall the wrong way leading to the domino effect of a bad season. And then sometimes you just lose, but let's give it up to Hodor for not giving up! (pretending to slow clap)

 

Rabbit Town brought the broom in her Division Ice Sweep of God of T&W. Rabbit Town all season long has gotten great quarterback performances form A. Luck, and now is boosted by fantasy quarterback killing Buffalo Bills Defense. Just needing solid play from the rest of her roster Rabbit Town Conejas comes into the Championship Match as the new #1 seed!

 

Speaking of no longer number one, Team Joffrey who had previously held that spot nearly all season falls just short. Just like DeSean Jackson at the goal line Team Joffrey celebrated too soon and House Stark made him pay. House Stark looked like a team who had came out the gates too fast and was starting to fade, but is now riding a L. Bell five game winning streak that all started...the last time he beat Team Joffrey!

 

That leads us to Budweiser's ALOIAF Championship! Battling it out for the Iron Throne is: Division Ice Rabbit Town Conejas vs Division Fire House Stark. Ice vs Fire! Summer vs Winter! Good vs Evil! I'll let you two decide who is which.

 

 

Team House Stark= 213.4 -31.8

Rabbit Town Conejas= 181.5 +31.8

 

Oh yeah in the Third (at least you won something) match is God of T&W vs Team Joffrey. Whatever

 

Casterly Rock God of T&W= 200.1 -0.6

Team Joffrey= 199.5 +0.6

 

This weeks Thursday night game is the Tennessee Titans vs the Jacksonville Jaguars. Good Luck And may the best man or woman win!

 

 

 

18

DEC

 

KING OF THE ANDALS AND THE FIRST MEN

 

Well that's a wrap everybody. Nothing to see here, let's all just move along...No...alright alright

 

Let's all give a tip of the cap to House Stark on a great season and ALOIAF's fist ever Champion! Enough with this regular season talk from Team Joffrey, here we have playoffs, and in the playoffs House Stark was the better team. Even with suboptimal play from his stud L. Bell, Stark was able to get a 48pt game from Russell "Hustle Bustle Man Muscle" Wilson leading to his game winning 179-157 score. So congrats House Stark! The Iron Throne will be sent to you shortly, and we'll be expecting a picture of you hoisting the Iron Throne in all your glory.

 

Let's also give a hand to Rabbit Town Conejas for coming within an Andrew Luck benching of winning a championship in her first year playing fantasy football. All that anger you feel towards football, towards life!,  now you know what it's like for the rest of us who've been playing for years. Hope you use all that pent-up rage next season to fuel a return to the finals.

 

ALOIAF Honorable Mentions: 

Winner Consolation Bracket - The Unsullied

Best Regular Season Record - Team Joffrey

Most Points Scored - Team Joffrey

Most Points Scored Against - Impin Ain't Easy

 

Final Standings:

1. House Stark

2. Rabbit Town Conejas

3. Team Joffrey

4. Casterly Rock God of T&W

5. Impin Ain't Easy

6. Team SQONLN

CONGRATULATIONS! Although only one team may have won, at least these teams made the playoffs. Giving themselves the opportunity for the Iron Throne. Unlike some others...

7. The Unsullied

8. Crows Before Hoes

9. Orlando iii of The Southland

10. Hodor's Hodor

TISK TISK (finger-wagging) Need you guys to pick it up next season, or forever be the Cleveland Browns/Oakland Raiders of this league. 

 

Speaking of next season, I know it's early, heck the actual NFL season isn't even over yet, but have a few questions I'll need your guys input on. No rush, but better earlier than later cause let's face it I'll forget to ask again. So if you guys can just send me a raven, I'll go with the majority vote. If need be My vote will be the tiebreaker.

 

Returning: I hope you all enjoyed playing this years ALOIAF and hope to see you all next season, but I'll understand if for any reason you will not be able to participate. Just need to know who wants to play next year.

Keepers: Each team keeps 1 player from this years roster for next seasons roster. Or we can all start from scratch next season.

Draft Order: Should next years draft be random like this years, or in reverse order of this seasons standings. This will rely on if we do Keepers or not. Makes no sense if we don't do keepers that the last place team gets first pick, but if we do keepers than theoretically the best team has the best players and gets the last pick.

Money: Now while I enjoy playing for the fun & glory of it all and don't need any cash incentive, I will understand if some of you feel different. Now this is family so if this is the route you want than lets keep it low. So maybe a $10 buy in where winner gets all, or winner gets $80 while runner up and consolation winner gets their money back. This idea was brought to me so don't think I'm trying to take your money, but if you guys choose to do this don't think I won't!

Tips: I am not a malevolent commissioner, and love nothing more than hearing suggestions from my fellow fantasy football compatriots. But power is power I and will crush those who try to threaten my authority! 

 

With Rabbit Town, Joffrey, Unsullied, Crows b4 Hoes, Impin Ain't Easy, The Southland, God of T&W, and Hodor's Hodor coming for the Iron Throne next season. House Stark best enjoy your time with the Throne while you can. Cause if any of the rest of the league has something to say about it, you'll be sending the Iron Throne to them next season. But next season is next season, and until then Congratulations House Stark and "Valor Morghulis". And everyone else "Valar Dohaeris"

 

 

“...stood there before him, tears running down his cheeks. He punched — in the belly. When he pulled his hand away, the dagger stayed where he had buried it.

— fell to his knees. He found the dagger’s hilt and wrenched it free. In the cold night air the wound was smoking. “—,” he whispered. Pain washed over him. Stick them with the pointy end. When the third dagger took him between the shoulder blades, he gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold …”

30

DEC

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